Getting Started

I barfed in class. During the first week of first grade, in front of everybody, I spewed.

There I was, busily painting fine works of art, when the urge to hurl hit me. I thought I could hold it back, but I was wrong. I puked all over my piece of art (adding far more vivid colors to the painting, but ruining its resale value). My breakfast rolled down the painting, through the paint tray, and into a lumpy puddle on the floor. Everyone stared at the mess for a few seconds, and then the laughter began - it started with jug-eared kid in the back of the class and rippled out across the room.

Trudging to the health office, I couldn't believe what had happened. I was crushed, humiliated. The churning in my gut could not compete with the cloud of doom which now hung over me. I knew that my life was ruined.

Since that horrible day, I have managed to pull the mangled remains of my self-esteem back together. But even so, after that experience I faced every new school year and every move to a new school with a sense of dread.

Jangled Nerves

Feeling nervous when facing a new experience is natural. And Middle School is definitely something new. Lots of kids wonder, “What will happen to me? Will I do or say something that will prove to everyone else that I am some kind of dork or poser?”

Reading this book will not keep you from barfing on your masterpiece - stomachs will do what they must - but it may help you deal with some of the other things that worry you. You will know what to expect, what to do, and in some cases, what to avoid doing.

If you're like me, your very first day of school will probably be scary, so I've written a whole chapter about it. Interested? Let's crack into it!

The BIG Day

When your alarm clock buzzes obnoxiously that first morning, you'll already be awake. In fact, I doubt that you'll have gotten much sleep at all, what with thinking about this day: the first day of school. Most likely you'll be experiencing some kind of high anxiety. Take a deep breath and try to relax. Chances are that you'll not only survive this new adventure, but you'll enjoy it too - once you get the hang of it.

The first clue that your life is changing will hit you before you even leave the house - the uncomfortable feel of new stiff clothes (or, for some, uniforms). When you walk on campus, look around and you'll see that just about everyone is experiencing it: pants so stiff they can stand up by themselves, and shoes that are so squeaky clean and sweet smelling that they don't yet attract flies. Colors are brilliant, ketchup stains are absent, and some kids are even walking around with the price tags dangling from their clothing!

Naturally, everyone is trying to make a good first impression. You may feel like laughing at some of their efforts, but you need to realize that this is pretty typical for the first day and you will probably be part of the parade. So, wear you cool new clothes and be careful not to spill stuff on them-at least not today.

Lost in a Crowd

When you get to school, you'll be surrounded by strangers. That's because a bunch of elementary schools typically feed into one Middle School. Everybody will be spending a lot of time checking everyone else out. Try to keep this process from bothering you-you'll probably be doing a bit of checking yourself! Some kids are overjoyed at the thought of having so many cute boys or girls to choose from. Others worry that they will not be as important in this sea of faces as they were in their comfortable small grade schools.

You may be convinced that you will start your first day by doing something that makes you look like a complete moron. Let me reassure you - almost everybody feels self-conscious and out of place, but don't expect him or her to admit it. And relax, really big blunders rarely happen on the first day. You'll have the rest of the school year to make a klutz out of yourself!

Scrambled Schedules

Now that you're used to being looked over, find out where you're supposed to be and get there. (Well, maybe you had better find the restroom first.) In Middle School you will most likely be assigned a new class, a new room, a new subject and a new teacher for every hour or so of the school day.

Some schools mail your class schedules to you during the summer. Others will simply hang printouts listing student names and the class assignments on hallway bulleting boards. Some schools post notices that direct you to your Homeroom, and in your homeroom the teacher hands you your schedule.

If you have a common last name, things can get really confusing at this point. The poor kid whose last name happens to be Smith can end up wandering the halls all day, looking for classes that really belong to some other Smith. This can get really upsetting if you find you have been assigned to a boy's gym class-and you're a girl! If something like this happens to you, don't panic and go home. Help is available, and with any luck, your problem should be solved by the end of the semester.

Oh, and one last piece of advice about schedules - write yours down in a notebook just in case you misplace the copy you are handed. If you think you might lose your notebook, write your schedule on your arm. Hopefully, you won't lose that.

Finding Your Way

The fear of getting lost rates right up there with the fear of throwing up in the cafeteria. But chances are you won't get lost at all. Oh, there may be moments of panic, but little genuine “lost-ness.”

The worst that can happen is that you'll stumble into a class after it has already started. If you enjoy drawing attention to yourself, this won't be a big deal. But if you're trying to develop a cool low-key image, the experience may be very embarrassing. The best you can do is to try to look calm; otherwise everyone will know that you have been desperately wandering the halls.

Help Wanted

When you needed help in grade school, you could always ask an adult. Adults were easy to spot because they were so much taller than everyone else. But in Middle School, finding an adult by size alone is a bit harder since some kids are already about as tall as their teachers. This means that for you to get an adult's help, you will have to find someone who looks old or has bad hair.

If you're really lost, one place that is usually full of adults is the office. You can always go there and ask for help without feeling ashamed or stupid. There's no reason to feel ashamed about going to the office if you can't figure out where you are supposed to be-after all, your friends will be in there asking for help too!

If you'd rather not make trips to the office between all your classes, take heart - you still have other options. One is to follow a friend around. If that friend has figured out the system, you're in luck. If not, at least you'll be lost together. Or you can team up with someone who is one grade above you in school and have that person guide you through the day. Be careful though - some enterprising older kid may charge you for your tour.

First Class

Your first class of the morning is usually identified as your “Homeroom.” Before you crack open your books, the teacher will take roll, read the announcements and tell you about any upcoming events. Or she may just turn on the TV and do her nails while you watch announcements on the in-house system.

Expect the seating in every class to be about the same. Teachers rarely assign seats, and most of the time finding a seat turns into a free-for-all. You can almost predict where different kids will sit - the dummies will race for the seats farthest back in the class (where they can carve on their desks all year long) and the brains will look for desks right up front. And everyone will sit as far away as possible from the kid who stepped in dog doo on his way to school!

Logic will tell you that if you want the seat of your choice, you should get to class as soon as possible on the first day. But actual experience will probably teach you that you'll just have to take whatever seat is left after you've explored the whole school trying to find your class.

Bell Ringers

You'll know class has begun when the school bell rings. In fact, you'll probably find that your actions in Middle School are all directed by bells. They tell when to eat, study, change classes, and go home. If you forget what to do when the bell rings, just follow everyone else and you'll probably be okay.

Locker Battles

Middle School students can often get relief from their 300-pound backpacks by storing books and gear in a locker. In some schools, lockers are assigned to students. In others, you can choose any locker that has not already been claimed by someone else, and this might be a good reason to get your folks to drive you to school early on the first day.

If you have a choice, take a top locker rather than a bottom one. Seemingly every time a kid with a lower locker kneels to get into it, the slob above him opens his door and unleashes an avalanche of books and papers on the lower kid's head. And then as he recovers and staggers to his feet, the guy closes his locker and adds a nasty dent to the poor kid's skull.

If your school has lockers without a built-in lock, you will have to bring a lock from home. Pay attention when you are told what kind of lock to bring - combination locks seem to be the usual. You'll feel pretty dorky being the only kid with a cheapo key lock hanging from your locker.

Lots of kids end up locking their combination inside their locker and then forgetting the combination. Unfortunately, doing so is expensive because the school janitor then has to cut the lock off with huge snippers for you to get to your combination - which you suddenly will no longer need. You can avoid being typical by writing your combination on your arm. Or you can write it in pencil on your neighbor's locker door like everyone else does.

One of your friends may want to share lockers with you. What is often best for your friendship is for you to refuse. Sharing makes fitting all of your junk and all your friend's junk in one locker tough. Not to mention the fact that you may find your friend uses more of your stuff than just your locker.

Picky Particulars

As you go from class to class, your teachers will undoubtedly give special instructions. Since your day is going to be so baffling, you probably won't remember anything you are told to do from one class to the next. This is the time to get out your trusty pencil and write down what each teacher tells you. For example, in some classes you'll get books and be told to put covers on them. In other classes you'll be asked to bring certain items with you every day. If you learn to write down the various instructions you are given, you will come to class prepared. That is, as long as you remember to take home the notebook you've made your notes in!

Lonely Lunches

Now it is time for lunch. If you go to a large school, you may be surprised to find that there are several lunch times. You may be scheduled to eat during the first lunch while all your friends are assigned to the second lunch period. Don't bother to complain - the bad news is that most school administrators will shed very few tears over the fact that you must eat alone and will not agree to switch your lunch time. Look around and try to make a few new friends.

Pepto-Bismol, Please

Have you ever wondered where all the leftover food that you turned your nose up at and told your parents to send to the starving kids in Africa really goes? Well, now you know. It ends up in the school cafeteria.

I don't think anyone who has gone through Middle School has ever actually liked school cafeteria food. The rubber chicken, lumpy mashed potatoes and limp salad are eaten strictly to avoid starvation. If you can't stomach what is served, you can always bring food from home. But you may not want to carry it in same old the lunch box you used in elementary school. Except for those making an anti-fashion statement, lunch boxes are usually considered dumb. You can't go wrong with a standard brown paper bag - it's been the traditional school lunch accessory for years.

Notorious Teachers

You'll learn things about many of your teachers before you even enter their classrooms. Sometimes students who have just come from a certain class will spread these facts during lunchtime. More often they will come from older kids who have already had a certain teacher.

Try to keep an open mind about all your teachers. Some are labeled crummy or mean by the featherheads who want to goof off and aren't able to get away with it. You may really enjoy a teacher that everybody else dislikes.

Unearned Reputations

If you have older brothers or sisters, you may be pegged before you even get to school. Obviously, this isn't fair. But if your sister was a math whiz and you can't add four to four without a calculator, be prepared to hear your math teacher say, “Well, Junior, it's going to be great having another brilliant student from the Jones family.” And try not to gag.

The situation is even worse if you have an older brother or sister who was a troublemaker. Being sent to the vice principal's office every day, simply because you share your family's name with a big brother or sister who is a jerk, is humiliating.

Naked Kids

A major fear of many new Middle School kids is the need to get undressed and take group showers in Physical Education. (Many Middle Schools require their students to change into gym clothes for P.E. and to shower afterward.) If this fear has haunted you, it may be about to become a reality. Most schools do not have private dressing rooms. In fact, you may feel like a steer as you are herded through the shower stalls.

Expect to be very uncomfortable at first - not only with your own body, but also with the fact that, unless you were raised in a nudist colony, you have never seen so many naked people before in your life.

Some kids try to put off the inevitable by wearing their P.E. uniforms under their school clothes, by refusing to suit up for class, or by skipping showers (thereby blessing everyone who gets too close with the sour smell of body odor.) Even though you may not be happy about the communal showering, this is another change you will have to swallow hard and accept. In a couple of weeks it won't seem so bad.

One Last Word

Well, we've covered most of the experiences that you will encounter on the first day. The one thing that you probably won't experience-and you may have feared it-is getting into an argument with some other kid. Take heart. On the first day, even school bullies are too busy getting lost to spend much time picking on other kids. Give them a day or two to adjust and then they'll come around to pick on you.

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